To be honest, I think an informed and productive performance review is right up there with hitting a hole in one. Not to say that it couldn’t happen – and certainly it does happen from time to time – but it’s a rare occurrence, which makes most of the reviews given equal parts depressing and disappointing.

In light of that sad truth, often times a performance review becomes a game of passive-aggressive political maneuvering in which your supervisor might try to perpetuate a personal agenda or simply use it as a time to vent while veiling their comments as constructive criticism. But neither of these scenarios are what a true review should be and it’s important to be able to separate the truth from the BS.

Below are some examples of behavior to watch out for and if any of this sounds familiar, take heart, and also take this “feedback” with a grain of salt (or maybe a handful).

The “Personal Agenda” Review
Unfortunately if you have a difficult boss then you’re probably already prepared for a performance review that will be a less than pleasant experience. The challenges faced working with them on a daily basis will likely only be highlighted during that conversation, but at least if you are aware of that in advance you can prepare yourself and be ready to handle it professionally.

They may say things to undermine your confidence or focus more on mistakes versus successes and in the past, I’ve been guilty of letting negative comments like these affect my self-esteem. Even worse, it caused arguments with people in my personal life because I allowed it to eat away at me and undermine my goals and behavior. But what I realized later, and want to share with you now, is after getting some perspective on what had was said I was able to separate the fact from the fiction.

In my case, the feedback came from a boss who was extremely controlling, insecure about their own abilities and narrow-mindedly ambitious. In other words, this person was never going to let anyone else shine too brightly for fear that it would hurt their standing.

None of these are traits of a good leader.

Once I took these other factors into account, I realized that the comments made were to support the personal agenda of this boss. Not factual comments based on a true assessment of my skills and contributions. So while it’s hurtful when someone says negative (or even untrue) things, remember to keep things in perspective. You know the work you’ve done and how much effort you’ve put into it. Also keeping a list of the things you do, especially new projects or additional tasks you take on, as this will help you not only show growth in the role but validate your contributions to the team. Think of it as an ever-evolving job description and make sure to continually update this list with your accomplishments!

The “Venting” Review
There are also times when a boss may decide to use your review time as an opportunity to get a few things off their chest, which is unfortunate.

But is that is the case, here are a couple things to look out for:

Negative feedback, without examples:
Right off the bat this should raise a red flag because if something needs to be corrected, then logically at some point you would have done something incorrectly. As an example, let’s say it’s how you communicate with senior leaders. If that really was an issue, then there would be an email or some communication vehicle available to review and improve upon. But is this is said as a blanket statement without any specifics, be wary, and ask for an example!

Negative feedback, from something that happened (weeks/months) ago:
This is another example of shady, not to mention extremely unprofessional, behavior. First off, if you did something that was seen by your boss or others as not being handled correctly, why wait to bring it up? Especially if it’s a repetitive task or something that visible represents your department. If that’s the case, it should have been addressed immediately so you could learn from your mistake and correct it.

Bringing it up later shows not only lack of leadership, but also lack of importance. In this instance I think it would be fair to say, professionally of course, “I was unaware that ______ was not being handled properly. Moving forward, please inform me sooner so I can make any needed corrections.”

All in all, your review will come down to the communication style of your boss, the working relationship you share and (hopefully) a fair assessment of your work. But the most important thing to remember is to evaluate what is said versus what you know you’re bringing to the table and determine where they intersect. After all, no one is perfect and insights from others can serve as growth moments to help you continue improving and moving forward with your career.

Just be sure to evaluate what’s said, ask for second opinions and make sure you don’t allow someone to throw you off course with unnecessary criticisms that are not designed to help you improve.

As time rolls on, often a job gets monotonous or perhaps you get typecast in certain role or with specific responsibilities and growth opportunities are not available. Whatever the tipping point may be, there inevitably comes a time for all of us when we’re ready to move on. Which leads me to the meat and potatoes of this post (fyi we’re going to skip over most of the job search/interview process as that deserves it’s own story) but once you’ve landed that new job, how do you deal with your expectations of the job versus the reality of the day-to-day?

A new job, as with everything else in life, should be taken with a grain of salt. For example: we all know that the food images in commercials are not exactly how the food is going to look when you get to the restaurant… the swimsuit the model is wearing is going to look different on you… the DIY project is probably going to look a little different than the finished project on HGTV. But you get the point – and starting a new job is no different. Hopefully though the chasm between what was advertised and what life is like in your new office isn’t worlds apart, but if it is, that’s what were to discuss and talk about how to cope.

JOB EXPECTATION

So you found a new job that seemed to be everything you were looking for, add to that you’re ridiculously qualified for it and you got through the interview process with flying colors. Now it’s time to do meet the team and do the work.

Integrating into a new office has its challenges to be sure, but as long as you stay open-minded and aware of your surroundings everything should be fine. Typically within 2-4 weeks the social piece starts to work itself out and even if you haven’t made an office “bestie” yet, at least by now people have started to recognize you.

Some companies also have a meet and greet process wherein your new boss will give you a list of people they’d like you to meet as it’s likely you’ll be dealing with these folks on the regular in your new role. Now don’t get me wrong, the premise of this idea is a good one, but let’s face it they’re basically asking you to go on a series of “blind dates”. Which is awkward. My recommendation (if you can swing it) is to put off these “dates” until you’ve been in the job a couple weeks, have been to a few meetings and have started to receive assignments from your boss. At that point you’ll actually have questions for these folks or at least have a better idea of what your job will be and how you might be interacting with them.

But let’s get the focus back on the expectation piece. Specifically what happens when the job was advertised a certain way, but once you’re actually doing it things are completely different? Taking into account a 10-20% margin of BS that might have been added to the job description by a hiring manager, what about the rest?

I like to give analogies to illustrate a point, so we’re going to use Jake (no, not from State Farm), who was just hired as an Email Marketing Manager for our example. Jake has been working in email for 5+ years and was running all the email campaigns at his previous company; he worked with the creative team to develop the assets, the clients to gather the content and the analytics team to add tagging to all emails for reporting. He’s done it all! But his previous employer had no plans to promote him from Email Coordinator to anything more, so when he saw an opportunity for advancement at another company he applied.

The job was advertised as a leadership role in Email for all of the new companies current clients and Jake was excited for the challenge. But as the weeks have rolled by and Jake is acclimating to his new role, things are not as expected. Jake isn’t being allowed to lead or give input on email campaigns, creative, analytics or reporting. He’s only been tasked with chasing down information and delivering it to other teams (who were already in place when he started) to bring to completion.

JOB REALITY

#1 You’re an expert in your trade, but no one wants to hear what you have to say.

Whether it’s email marketing, landscaping, health & wellness or real estate, I think we can all agree this is/would be frustrating. You’ve worked for many years to learn, grow and establish yourself in a certain area and would love to share that knowledge but it’s not being accepted. What to do?

Solution Recommendation: Talk to your new boss and with a professional approach state your case. Explain that you were under the impression you were hired for your background in “____” but it’s been difficult to get a seat at the table to share that knowledge. If it makes sense have an example to share, but be sure not to present it in a “throwing under the bus” way. You never want to position yourself as you vs. another person/team. (Even if that’s actually what’s happening.)

#2 You were told you’d be leading but all you’re doing is chasing.

Again this side effect could be applied to a job in any industry and the way to resolve it is universal.

Solution Recommendation: Talk to your new boss. Unless it’s your boss who’s sending you on 1 fool’s errand after another, then it might be time to go to HR. But no matter who you talk to, be sure to have documentation or examples to share professionally. Also it can’t hurt to practice what you’re going to say and create a list of talking points for yourself. (Remember this isn’t like venting to your friends at happy hour.) These people have other things to do and while they should be inclined to want to help resolve this, that doesn’t mean they want to listen to you vent.

Organize your thoughts, bring 1-2 examples and keep things succinct. Stay away from naming name’s when at all possible and put the unpleasantness your bringing up back on you. For example: “I want to understand the process” not “The current process doesn’t work”.

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Hopefully having these conversations will bring about a shift and your new work-life will improve for the better. If that’s not the case, carefully consider what your next steps might be.

If the job is tolerable, look into taking online classes in your free time to continue to build your skill set while you’re there. Just because you’re not learning anything new from this employer doesn’t mean you should allow your skill building to languish. Try to tough it out for at least 12-16 months, network as much as you can and then begin looking for something else.

If the job is not tolerable, it’s time to dust-off the resume and begin job-hunting again. One bright side though, now you have additional questions to ask on future interviews to be sure you don’t get into this same situation again.

To kick things off, let’s just call it how it is:
• It sucks when someone steals your work
• Sadly it probably happens to someone, somewhere everyday

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Oh corporate America, definitely not known for being a level playing field and everyone giving each other high-fives and handshakes every time a match is over. So what do you do when someone takes your work/project/data and passes it off as their own? I don’t think anyone has all the answers, but here are a few tips to help navigate what is possibly one of work-life’s most sticky situations…

1. Stay out of the mud.
As tempting as it may be, don’t retaliate and don’t act in the moment. Emotions will no doubt be high when you find out what has happened, but sending an email/voicemail/text full of vocabulary usually reserved for Eminem lyrics is not the way to go.

It will only reflect badly on you, no matter how justified you may feel in sending it, and once it’s out there you can’t take it back.

2. Clear the air.
So even though a verbal smack-down or trip to the thunder dome are off the table (and typically frowned upon by HR) you can and do need to stick up for yourself.

Once the dust has settled, decided on a plan of action. Depending on your position and the position of the person taking liberties with your stuff, figure out what next steps would be most effective in getting the situation resolved.

Maybe it is an email, written thoughtfully, and outlining what has happened from your POV? Maybe it’s calling a meeting with upper management and the person involved? Whatever the next step is, make sure you only speak from what you know and what you have in writing. Making accusations or throwing out assumptions will only discredit you.

3. Proceed with caution.
Immediately following the points above about clearing the air, if you do want to meet with the other person make sure there is a 3rd party (aka a mediator) in the room. Having someone else there will limit any he said she said nonsense, should it come to that, and at this point you want to take every precaution.

After you get through all of that and once the situation has been resolved – or even if it’s not – then what? It’s hard to get that ‘team spirit’ back after someone has pilfered your goods, but life goes on.

My advice is to look at it this way:

Your career and personal happiness are much more important than whatever happened and in the end the goal should be to take the high road and be a team player that others enjoy working with. So don’t let someone else’s lack of professionalism and immaturity drag you down.

Or as our friend Eminem likes to say, “You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow. This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo.”

Yo, indeed.